how can you stand yourself; on a birthday  

the days are getting longer again. you watch the sun set from the window of a room that is not your own. the leaves are on fire. you burn with them. 16 years old; when did you drop out of living? do you even remember it happening? it did. you observe the life they tell you is your own and it’s been so long. you remember when the days were short, other windows, other lifetimes. you are not the same person now as you know (think) you used to be and doors have all slammed shut. the leaves burn. another birthday. think oh god when did I get so old. who was I last year? where is she now?

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